I met Nancy through Richard, when she would make her yearly trip to Texas. He always let us ladies know that his Mother was coming in to visit and we were invited to visit with her. She and I went to a westerner themed street festival in Denison Texas where people were dressed like old western Outlaws , shooting it up, hooping and hollering, horses here and there. We checked out lots of little shops and street vendors. We had a wonderfully, much needed cooling off snowcone while setting in the shade. Richard sometimes bought earrings i had made and eagles i had painted or woodburned for her. She was a very interesting, kind and strong woman. I never told her that I loved her, but I did.

Twenty Feet Away

The sweetest neighbor I had ever met happened to live across the street. The wildest thing about Nancy Larnder was that even in her late eighties she insisted on cutting her grass with a push lawn mower, no matter how many times I offered to do it. The next known fact about her was that despite being widowed, she was never alone. There was a host of children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, church friends and loved ones active in her life. I knew because they visited frequently.

I asked Ms. Larnder if she would allow me an interview for a school assignment and we settled on a time for Wednesday, June 3, 2020. To set the scene—her driveway was a mere twenty feet from mine and the yard was nicely landscaped, also like mine. Right away, I noticed the variety of flowers that greeted my mom and I as we strolled towards the deck. A deep purple iris in full bloom stood upright like a soldier at attention as if expecting company. Lining the sidewalk were mounded beds, stationary pots and iron hooks that displayed Ms. Larnder’s talent. I felt as though they waved in excitement of our arrival. She proudly showed off an unusual color of climbing clematis and a Mother’s Day gift: a hanging basket of cascading white verbena.

On the deck, my mom asked to take a photo to submit along with the written portion of my assignment. With a legal pad and pen, I took a seat across from Ms. Larnder and we casually posed. A small round table separated us, which was a good thing, because minutes into the interview she realized she’d forgotten to put a mask on. It was the year COVID-19 erupted.

Even before I began the interview, she expressed dismay about millennials.

“I grew up living with rules. I did what I was told to do. The generation these days walk all over the rules and do what they want. If parents disciplined correctly in the first place, social distancing and self-isolation would not be as difficult as they were making it seem. It’s sad.”

Mom gently guided the conversation to why we were there, and I asked my neighbor my initial question.

“What was your very first job and how old were you when you started?”

“My first job was as a cashier at the local IGA grocery store. I was 16 years old.” I wanted to know if by local she meant where she currently resided, and she elaborated. “Yes, here in Hamlin. It was where the Tops Plaza is now. I have lived in Hamlin,” she emphasized the next word, “all my life.”

“You must be well-known then,” I commented.

“Oh, indeed. Everyone knew everyone. Being the sole food store with only one cash register made it inevitable not to meet the whole town eventually.”

My mom questioned her about having to put on an employee vest or smock as part of the job.

“In the store everyone got to wear their own clothes. There was no special dress code or uniform. I wore my school clothes because I worked right after school…” Ms. Larnder looked up as if mentally seeing her schedule, then added, “…and on Saturdays.”

I grew curious about what she’d done with childhood earnings.

“I was born during the depression in 1934, so I never blew my money on non-necessities. We slaughtered our own pigs and raised chickens. We may not have had much, but we had food, and it was decent food. When Mother could not afford it, I went clothes shopping and bought my own.”

My heart pinched a bit.

“Was there ever a job you turned down that in hindsight you wished you hadn’t, or regretted not taking a particular career path?”

Ms. Larnder answered quickly, “No, no, not really. I went right to work after school. IGA was a temporary job. Part of my curriculum was to help local companies while learning business. Some were fun, some I dreaded.” Her facial expression alerted that I had triggered a memory; something funny today that wasn’t back then. “All in all, it was work. As soon as I graduated from high school, an insurance company in Brockport hired me and I quit IGA.”

An hour had passed when I asked my final question.

“If you knew the quarantine was going to happen, how might you have prepared? Would you have done anything differently?”

“No. Nothing, really. I have a fair amount of canned goods that are new. I’m stocked with necessities. I’m used to being at home all the time, so the isolation doesn’t bother me. I have a ton of puzzles to do and books to read.”

I leaned over to hug and thank her politely. Walking home, my reverie conjured up similarities between the beautiful flowers and Ms. Larnder herself. I doubted I would ever encounter a more wonderfully old-fashioned neighbor and I meant that from a warmhearted place…twenty feet away.

Written by Riley Ray

Sandybrook Drive, Hamlin

Q: What will you never forget about Nancy?

A: I volunteered every month at Life Solution's Foodlink giveaway, prior to Covid, with Nancy. I remember her as always friendly, easy to work with, a hard worker with plenty of energy. I'm just shocked to see she was 88!

She is really an inspiration and I hope I can be as vibrant a contributor to my community as she was in her 80s. I'm glad to have had the privilege of knowing her. She will be missed!

Sorry for your loss. I met Nancy when I was working at first federal, she was very kind and would help me with anything. She also is the person who got me on the softball team with her daughter Diane, which I was on for more than 20 years. I remember her being our biggest cheerleader and if she didn’t agree with a call she let them know. She will be missed but hold onto the memories, I know I will. If I can do anything please let me know. Hugs to all of you

Condolences from Juanita and family

Q: How did you meet Nancy?

A: We met Nancy and Dick with their children while on vacation at Wasaga beach in Canada in 1965. Over the many years a great friendship began and we visited back and forth too each others homes in Kendall, NY. We have made many great memories and Nancy will be missed by All our Family!

Ron and Helen Jackson